At the moment I just can’t run fast enough. In my head it doesn’t matter how much I am doing, how fast my legs are moving, my thoughts chasing, my being doing. Things are just not moving fast enough and I am definitely not doing enough.
But what would be enough?
When I try to know what would be enough, I blank.
So what is my fascination with getting things done, running faster?
Obviously there will be psychological reasons for wanting to get the jobs done, to succeed. Maybe if I have already succeeded then I won’t feel the pressure of not failing? As if I will ever feel that my job is done.
I like to think its not all negative reasons though.
This is a passion and when you have a passion that’s all you think about, your head and heart is full with ideas and positivity and you want to create it all as quickly as you can.
But I know the importance of being still. Letting ideas evolve and form without a forceful hand.
This rush is fun, but only if I don’t feel I am trying to keep up with something that I can’t catch. So I am going to try and hang out with my stillness and also have a few sprints along the way.
And anyway I much prefer dancing to running.